I love the man's work.
Surprisingly, last year I started coaching his daughter Karen with her wonderful one-woman show, wherein she plays many of the players in his & her lives. I think, because she very much loved him and wanted to show her perspective of life in his shadow; taking care of him through trials of his many female relationships while she was a teen, et all. that it may be a huge heartbreak to have not performed the show for him.
If anyone has expearienced this unfulfillied state not being able to prove your worth for your famous parent before his or her death, could you send me some advice that I might share with Karen when next we speak?
Tue, February 28, 2006 - 12:05 PMAs we all know here, it's not an easy place to be, being the child of someone of note. The main thing from my point of view is that 'you' have to get past the position others place you in and rise above being a shadow..."This is such and such's kid"...I changed it around and when I was introduced as the kid of my dad, I would say, "No, he's my father, I'm not his 'kid', get it right or say goodnight".
By doing this or something in the same vain after a time, it somehow becomes easier to be your own self, stronger, more of an idependent personality, equal with your parent as most others are who don't have famous parents.
One of my sisters is such a messed up person who has spent countless thousands on shrinks and too what end?
It's important to be worthwhile to yourself and not to an icon, trying to live up too some image you think proves your worth to a parent which in large part is really nothing more then self-created pressure from outside the familial home isn't any real measure.
I'm sure Knot's daughter was in his eyes, a shining jewel amoungst dull pebbles, almost all dads feel that towards thier daughters.
Sat, September 16, 2006 - 3:19 PMGod, Jeffrey, you've probably spoken with her many a time since you posted here. We lost our hard drive right about then, in February, and I have not been back to Tribe until this week. Sorry.
It goes both ways, I guess. I have missed so much of life with my parents (M died when I was 16, F when I was 21), and wanted to show....ask.....prove so much. Now I understand much more of their private matters, I wonder why they were so reticent. On the other hand, they would not approve, as far as i can extrapolate, of my lifestyle, hobbies, unemployed state, children, obsessions, nor my writing, which is neither subtle nor intellectual, but merely reactive and as honest as it can be.
My autobiography cannot be published until nearly everyone who ever knew me is dead, is the way I feel about it.. Unless I change a lot.
Unsu...Sat, September 16, 2006 - 9:35 PMI think the best way is just to lose yourself in what you love to do to the point where it doesn't matter whose kid you are or what it implies. In the words of the late great Joseph Campbell, "Follow your bliss." Then the shadow will disappear and it will only be helpful and not a hinderance at all. I take advantage of whose kid I am. I don't care. To me the end justifies the means. Nepotism or not, it's what I want to do and I'm not going to be modest about getting there.